Get Out Your Bananas

Attention all girls. Ever wanted to hob-knob with the world’s ruling class? Thought about what it would be like to sit in on meetings which influence world events? What does one have to do if you’ve got good looks, but no brains, talent or other [non-visually] discernible marketable skills to speak of?

Well, you could just follow Angelina’s Jolie’s example. It’s called fellatio. First, practice until you’ve got it down. Then, go around showing off your new skills till you get somewhere. Doors will open! While Jolie may be denying the secret to her success, Tilda Swinton was a little more honest about how she won her Oscar:

It’ is official. Angelina Jolie is now a member of the Council on Foreign Relations (aka, the CFR). Here’s a pretty good article by Kurt Nimmo covering this. Here’s a fluff piece for those who have trouble with big words.

I know there are many women out there who consider Jolie to be a role model. Also, that there are many who believe she’s a humanitarian of sorts cause she adopts poor children and is now the United Nations “Goodwill Ambassador.”

But, for the moment, let’s drop the fluff and labels like “goodwill.” The United Nations basically needed a spokesmodel to put a pretty face on the fact it is allowing (and arguably, promoting) genocide programs to take place in several parts of the globe [read about East Timor, Darfur, Palestine, and especially how the UN setup the conditions which allowed the whole Rwandan situation to take place]. I’m sure it’s of small console to the millions of African children being injected with AIDS viruses to have the beautiful miss Jolie pick them up for a photo op as she smiles glamorously and they continue to die.

Here a brief set showing her progression/degeneration. Looking innocent at 13. Posing on a toilet on the way to stardom. Finally, in a “Rosemary’s Baby” pose; next to CIA asset and heir to the Satanic Vanderbilt/Astor bloodline [see story].

And what of the CFR? Well, I could be facetious and say, “let’s assume it really is a global think-tank that simply doles out advice to world leaders.” Well then, what benefit would miss Jolie offer them? Maybe she read something in a script somewhere which could shape geopolitical policy? Gimme a break. Let’s be even more facetious, and say, “Angelina Jolie is a good-hearted woman and hopes to influence the world by joining a corrupt elitist organization (the CFR) and tear it down from the inside.” A wave of nausea is taking over me. Yea, she’s a rebel. Lara Croft is gonna take down the new world order and stop the enslavement of mankind. You guys watch way too much television.

The CFR’s mission is to destroy the sovereignty of the United States (admitted by member David Rockefeller), wipe out 80% of humanity (admitted by member Ted Turner) and then enslave the rest of us. Kurt Nimmo sums it up well:

“Angelina Jolie is the pretty face on the other end of Orwell’s boot stamping on a human face — forever.”

So, all you girls out there who wanna be just like Angelina Jolie. What can YOU do?

Get out your bananas and practice, practice, practice.

* Those of you who have mastered the banana and wanna continue to practice on more “life-like” appendages … me and some of my friends may be willing to help out all you future policy-makers…

Disclaimer: This article is written in the form of satire mixed with supposition and truth. Neither I, nor anyone I am acquainted with, has personal knowledge of Ms. Jolie’s fellatial skills or even if and when she has ever practiced the art.

Small Print: The above invitation is a limited time offer. All participants must be 18 or over. Some height and weight restrictions may apply.